OMG Young Guns
by SparklePretty
Summary: When Sparkle Pretty meets the regulators all kinds of over used plot points happen! Come join this cliched gunslinger woman and her adventures as we follow the movie to a fault! Which of the guys will fall in soppy love with this special snowflake?
1. Chapter 1

_Ok I've been a lurker on FF for years. I've been reading Young Guns fiction since people started posting it here and some I've loved, some I've disliked but the good thing about it was everything was fresh, new and full of ideas. That hasn't been true over the last few years, Mary Sue's are running riot! As are bad grammar and spelling! The people writing these stories don't seem to care... which is baffling to moi... Not every story in the last year or so has been bad to me, want to make that clear, there have been a few gems, but mostly Mary Sue's have taken over!_

_But who am I to judge? I hear you squeak! Well, no one... I actually find these stories SO funny! While at the same time having the conflicting emotion of feeling insulted for the characters that are getting slimed by these 'oh so special girls'_

_So I had a thought! Why not write a parody of one of these stories drawing from each one to create a hilariously stupid tale of Mary Suedom! Maybe it will cause these people writing Mary Sues to re-think and try and actually become better writers who use their imagination! Perhaps it will stop them posting so many mind numbing (but funny) stories... but mostly I hope it will make you laugh! :-)_

_When I write I will be writing as a Mary Sue lover... the story will not be spell checked or re-read but put up just as most stories are put up on here, half assed!_

_Let us begin!_

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Hello, my name is Sparkle Pretty KickAss Gunslinger Girl Tunstall but most just call me Sparkle. I live in the wild, wild, west, New Mexico to be exact and I'm on the run from a bad past and the fact I killed a load of people. Yeah I dunno why I did it, I guess I wanted to be a badass gun slinging girl, but really I'll reveal later I'm as soft as a fluffy marshmellowy thing and had a GOOD reason for doing it (bad past, get it?)

Now I'm walking down Lincoln main street (that's in New Mexico for you noobs) I've lived here for a few weeks in a saloon that is also a place for 'women of the night' but I'm not one of them! That's disgusting!

So anyway, I'm walking up the street and I'm minding my own business when this big ugly cowboy walks on up to me. He's all ugly and fat, with no teeth and bad breath, nothing like the Hollywood cowboys we'll meet later.

"Hey pretty, wanna come with me?"

"The name's Sparkle sparky and I don't take kindly to men talking to me!"

BANG BANG BANG! I shot the fat cowboy in his gut and he died! He was totally dead and I'd shot him!

Oh I forgot to mention my friend, Raven Notascuteasme Halfindian Knifethrower, but I just called her Raven. She was part Indian and had an awesome skill at throwing knives. She's just stood there while I shot the fat guy, she usually let me have the glory cause I'm so me.

Now let me tell you what we look like, I had flaming red hair and blazing intense green eyes and could see into your very soul. I'm super pretty and young, but since I want to be considered a complete freak I dress in men's clothing and I have two guns, to shoot people with! Raven is a little darker than me with long black hair and dark eyes she too dresses as a man because we are rebels and outcasts!

We also both have horses that are mentally tied to us, we like totally get each other and have this connection! Mine is called Sunbeam and Raven's is called Moonlight.

Now a bit about our pasts! I was born a real lady in a city and I hated it! I was whiney and couldn't accept being tied down! I wanted to be free FREE, free as a bird in the sky flying around cawing and... flying. But I was consisted by corsets and balls! It was soooo bad having everything done for me and living such an easy life at a time when being rich meant you had a good life, I couldn't stand my luck! I wanted to go hungry and cold, get shot at a lot and get treated like crap! I wanted to be a cowboy! Or even better an outlaw! Awesome! So one night I'd found out my family wanted me to marry some guy I didn't like and didn't want to bother to get to know, because he wasn't dangerous or fun, so I'd run away on horseback on Sunbeam into the starry night!

Raven's story was kinda sad, her whole family had died, I mean everyone! Her mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers, cousins, second cousins, first cousins removed and the family dog. They'd all been killed by the EVIL army! But let's not go into that because it's way too sad! She'd ran away too on her horse Moonlight and we'd met when I saved her life from a guy about to rape her! OMG how gross right? She was so grateful that she agreed to become my sidekick and we set off to have many adventures which I won't bother telling you about cause I want to rewrite a plot that's been done over and over ok!

Somehow along the way both of us had picked up OMFG AMAZING skills with guns and knives! We were super fast and super awesome!

Now back to the story. I'd just killed that fat cowboy remember? Raven and me started to panic cause the law would soon be after us and then we'd have to have a big gun battle and kill lots of people, we didn't want to do that cause at heart we are good people we just had badass skills that makes people want to mess with us. We were wanted ALL across the west!

Then suddenly this old guy in a buggy pulls up with some other blonde guy!

"Hey, you two strangers why don't you hop in my buggy and save yourself from the law!" The old man said. "I have a thing for runaways and murderers."

Raven and me gave each other a look, we didn't know if we should trust this man but what choice did we have! We both jumped into the buggy and off we went.

MOVIE MUSIC!

Na de na de na na na na na, ne no na! Whee woo wheee we woo whe wo we wooooo (cheesy 80's guitars etc)

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_Chapter one completa! Hope you fellow Young Guns fans enjoyed it or hated it, either way is good. Flamers and people with a sense of humor are equally welcome to review._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for the reviews. I'm glad some of you share my sense of humor and perhaps also my hatred of the dreaded Mary Sue!_

_Of course anyone is free to review, don't be shy now. Let me know what you like, what you hate if you share my dislike of Mary Sue's or if you think I'm being mean. It's all good people._

_A little note, I do not think any of the actors in Young Guns are old or any of the other slightly mean things I say... well ok I think it but I don't MEAN it. I really love them all lots and lots kisses and squishpuppies xoxo_

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Raven and me had lived on John Tunstall's ranch for about a week now. John Tunstall was the name of the man that had picked us up in the buggy. We had our own rooms and were treated real good by all the different boys living with John. John liked to collect outcasts, it was like his hobby to try and educate young boys.

Today we were all going to have a big feast! John had gone off into town and we were all going to surprise him with our cooking skills. Raven and me were also great cooks so we did most of it. We all set the table and then went outside to practice our shooting and knife throwing.

I took aim and hit a bucket over the well with an awesome quick shot!

"Wow!" Said Dirty Steve, "Sparkle you are a great shot!" He said. "We don't even care you just ruined our only water bucket!" He said.

"Haha." I laughed. "Thanks Dirty Steve, you stink though!" I pinched my nose, boy did this guy reek, but it was so much fun teasing him! "You should go do it with your horse!"

Steve wasn't good looking at all, he was kinda gross. Dirty and smelly with bad teeth ew! But he was SO funny, you'll totally know what I mean when I get to the over used, over quoted chicken part later in my story! He was ugly here but looked just like that guy Dermot who was in that other western movie Bad Girls and he was kinda hot in that!

Steve got angry because of what I'd said. "You're so mean Sparkle!"

"Hey, don't talk to Sparkle that way Dirty Steve!" Dick said riding up to us on his horse.

"Shut up Dick, you're not even my real brother of anything, so you can't make me do anything!" Steve shouted and ran away into the house dirt streaked tears falling from his eyes.

Dick was the leader and was totally stern and uptight, you could tell he probably had some kinky secrets! He looked just like that actor Charlie Sheen before he got old and really, really drug worn. But in this he was hot! He winked at me because he was totally into me, me being the fantastic me I am.

"Thanks Dick." I said trying not to snigger childishly at his name.

I looked over at Doc, the blonde haired guy who'd been with John when they'd picked me up in the buggy. He was really good looking too and quiet and romantic, he liked poems and being all cute. He looked just like Kiefer Sutherland before he got all old and crazy. He looked up from his book of romantic poetry and smiled real big at me, his eyes looking at me like a hungry rabbit wanting a good chew on a carrot. He was totally into me too, he thought I was amazing (didn't everyone?) but he also knew I was waiting for my Mr Right, who would arrive shortly and was also kinda short.

I looked over at Charley (I'm gonna spell his name as they spell it in the Young Guns credits even though it's not the correct way to write Charlie and looks totally messy), another one of the boys. He was hot I guess to some in a odd spongey, podgey kinda way. He looked just like that guy that played Charley (his name is kinda weird so I'm not gonna try and spell it ok) he waved at me and I half waved back, he wasn't one of my favourite characters so he won't be appearing much.

Lastly there was Chavez, he was like foreign or something, I think like an Native Indian! OMG they are so mysterious, magical and romantic right? He had super long hair but it wasn't a mullet or anything, it was hot! He was rock n roll and had kickass knife throwing skills and was all wise and knew stuff without being told it *twilight zone music* He looked JUST like Lou Diamond Phillips before he got old, cut his hair and moved to the jungle! Out of all of the boys Chavez was the hottest and closest in popularity to being worshipped by girls like me! He totally had the hots for me and had tried to bare his soul to me in a chatty out of character way a good few times, saying how lonely he'd been, being the only person from his flock... I mean tribe (that's it right?) cause all the others had been killed by... the EVILLLLL army! Dun dun DUN! Yeah but that's way too sad again so let's skip it and talk about me some more.

So yeah Chavez was all over me, confessing his squishy, fluffy, romantic, vomit inducing love to me, which was SO him, I mean he's totally like that in the films right! He told me how we could rebuild his tribe, just the two of us. I told him STFU! I mean that's just a bit too personal dontcha think? So even though I'd totally have picked him I just knew I was waiting for someone more central to the plot so I let Raven have him, they totally fell in love and were gonna have babies or something! OMG! The pervs!

So, where was I. Oh yeah I'd just made Steve cry and all the guys were making moon eyes at me. Oh I totally forgot to say that I hadn't told any of them I was a girl! I'd pretended to be a guy all this time! Raven had to tell Chavez when they started going steady but they hadn't caught onto to my super cunning awesome disguise! Even though I pretended to be a guy they all still wanted me cause they 'sensed' something about me and they couldn't stay away from it even though they thought I was a dude and they weren't gay!

"Come on Sparkle!" Called Doc. "It's time to eat!"

We all went inside and sat down at the table waiting for John to come back home. We'd made a big chicken dinner with all the trimmings! The dining room wasn't really a dining room, it was more of a kitchen come living room, well actually I'm not too sure of the layout, I'm a special snowflake not a architect! Ok!

We waited for a while and then we heard John's buggy coming home so we all rushed out. I was the fastest so I got outside first. John had someone totally new with him! I was shocked, who could this new stranger be!

We didn't want to scare the stranger so we all rushed back in. I was the first back to my seat cause I'm so fast.

"Good evening boys" Said John Tunstall as he smashed through the door. I was happy to see him but curious as to why he was entering the room in such a violent fashion.

"What's up John?" I asked, cause I was always the first to catch onto vibes and stuff.

John Tunstall was like, way old! And he's gonna be dead soon so I'm not gonna go into much about him as it'd take time away from me.

"Look at this nice meal you made, I bet it was you Sparkle." He said smiling. "You are oh so clever!"

I smiled in a smug, self satisfied way.

"I brought home a new outcast to work with you all, I hope you like him!" John said.

Suddenly a young boy... man came into the house and I stood up bolt right! His face totally reminded me of something and I could tell as our eyes met we had a connection! He wore a leather cowboy outfit that was totally hot and a cute little train drivers cap. OMG cute! His hair was blonde and his eyes were blue, they totally shined like two pools of diamonds! He was so my type and I knew it right away! (He looked just like Emilio from Young Guns before he got old and started directing. OMG he is SO hot! I want to marry him and I know he'll feel the same way about an obsessed fangirl with nothing better to do with my night than write self fantasy fiction that gives me a thrill, cause I just know he'd be into that! If you know Emilio please tell me cause I just know we are totally meant to be!)

Our eyes were starring at each other for ages and ages! We just couldn't look away from each other we were like already falling in deep, true, real love!

"Hello." He said sexily. "I'm Billy the Kid, who are you?"

I giggled and blushed so bad! "I'm Sparkle." I said shyly.


	3. Chapter 3

_So, yes. I have gotten a few messages (all polite) that asked just what my issue with over used Young Guns fiction is, so I thought I should just blurt it out and get it done with so we can get back to having a giggle. To me fanfiction is a way to explore the movies, books, TV shows etc that you love, to take characters to new levels and create a new story that is yours alone. I believe to re-tell a story near word for word from a movie is not only boring but a little lazy. I also think writing a shallow character such as sweet old Sparkle here is egotistical, self loving and unrealistic (yes I am ALL of those things too le sigh). A writer with talent creates characters that are new and stand on their own feet inside a story. So as you can clearly tell I am talentless and freely admit it! I suck at writing lol but perhaps I am good at telling a funny, belly laugh story. One can hope :-D_

_But these are my own thoughts, I don't intend or want to push them on others, nor do I look down on those that like Mary-Sue's, I liked them too once... it's the over usage that is my main issue._

_However, I have no intention in starting a fight here. Mary Sue's and over used plots are a part of fanfiction no matter how you look it and sometimes that's a good thing, there has just been a lot of the same churned out story of recent days and well, you know the rest people._

_Oh and to the review that was left (the latest, anon) nice to know that you will happily churn out a Mary Sue story under a pen-name but not leave a signed in review... how did I know? You squeak... it was kinda obvious, but hey it's all in fun so get over it chuck, say what you want as who you really are or don't bother... for that reason, only signed in reviews now allowed :-D Be proud to speak as who you are or stay silent, speak loud speak proud or keep your mouth closed... good advice but I can't remember who said it! I have no problem with flames, people disliking the story etc but I do have an issue with sneaky, mean spirited stuff. It's all in fun so let's keep it light, haha! as Sparkle would say!_

_Enough of this serious chatter now I say! You can disagree with me, agree with or not give a hoot either way let's all just enjoy a nice silly story shall we ;-)_

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A few more weeks passed on John Tunstall's ranch. Billy became part of the regulators with the rest of us which was cool because I got to spend time with him. We totally got each other from day one, we were like twins but not... because that would be like incest, gross!

It was New Year's Eve and John and Billy had gone out to town to buy new clothes, at the last minute I decided to go with them. I had a surprise to show Billy tonight! Over the weeks Billy and me had gone riding and shooting together and we just couldn't be parted. I was as good a shot as he was if not better because of my amazing skills and I was super fast! Sometimes I'd see him looking at me all strange with a moony longing in his diamond pool eyes, he totally wanted to kiss me! OMG! But he couldn't because he thought I was a boy! Tonight I was going to reveal my womanliness to him and then we could be together forever! !111!

We rode in the buggy to town and I jumped out first cause I have really fast reflexes! We rushed to the store and Billy and John started picking out boys clothing. I took my chance and in full view of everyone in the store I bought a dress but because of my cowboy ninja skills no one noticed. I stuffed the dress under my shirt hoping no one would notice the pregnant looking bulge.

Billy got a new outfit and looked totally hot in it! I walked up to him.

"Billy you look great!" I gushed.

"Gee thanks Sparkle, you're a nice... guy ... to say that." He paused. "Let's go back to the buggy."

"Ok!"

We walked back to the buggy.

"Say Sparkle." Billy said. "I was wondering about your name, it's quite unusual."

OMYGOSH! He'd nearly seen through my awesome cover! "It's like foreign" I said quickly. "From Alaska, all boys are called Sparkle, Pinkytoes or PrincessSuperAwesome there."

"Oh." He said.

Billy eyed me oddly as we walked.

"Hey, Sparkle, you put on weight, looks like you're getting a bit chunky?"

I laughed with blushes burning in my face. "Oh nooo, I just have really bad wind, I ate too many beans." I totally panicked and blurted it out and it was a lie FYI, because I hadn't got wind at all I just HAD to say that to throw him off the trail but I DIDN'T have wind ok!

"Oh." He said looking puzzled and a little grossed out. "Well point it away from me."

OMG why had I said I had wind? Now I was all totally embarrassed and wanted the earth to swallow me whole, I just wanted to die, Billy thought I had wind and it was my fault! This was the worse, most awful day of my life!

We got back in the buggy and went back to the ranch. When we got to the ranch I ran to my room and locked the door and cried for hours into my pillow until it was a soggy mess and listened to country emo songs. Why did this have to happen to me? I'm far too awesome for anything bad to happen to me.! I sniffed and wiped at my teary eyes, yes of course! This was MY story and I am a Mary Sue, Billy had no choice but to like me no matter what! I gave a manically, stalkerish, crazy laugh and washed my face, instantly I was perfectly pretty again and ready for the party we were all going to. I put on my super pretty dress and then put on a big, long coat that hid it from anyone and then put my beautiful, silky long hair (which I've now decided is blonde btw) into my cowboy hat to hide it like I normally do.

I came out of the room and met Raven who was dressed in a dress for the party too but she didn't look as pretty as me even though my dress was covered up.

"Oh my god Raven" I squealed. "you look like so pretty!"

"You too." Raven said looking not as pretty as me.

Chavez came out from the room Raven had just come out of. OMG see I told you they are pervs!

"Hi Chavez." I said in a high pitched sweet voice and batted my long eyelashes at him.

"Hey Sparkle, wow you look amazing!" He gushed. "Say let's go for a walk around the barn and I can tell you in a chatty way how much I need you again to further my tribe!"

"Haha!" I laughed. "No Chavez, I can't do that you are Raven's man and I won't take you away from her even though I can do so easily." I wouldn't take him now but it didn't mean I wouldn't at a later point if I felt like it.

I left Chavez and Raven and went to get Sunlight my, totally awesome, connected with me, horse. I got on her and we rode with the moon shinning down on us from high above in a romantic way. I rode so fast that I had to hold on to my hat! But I'm such an awesome rider that my riding skills were tuned to Sunlight's brain and she instantly knew what I wanted. Finally I got to the town where the New Year's Eve party was being held. I was sooo nervous! I walked towards where Billy stood, tonight would be the night, the night he knew and loved Sparkle, but not Sparkle the man, Sparkle the... WOMAN!


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Little shorter than normal but enjoy!_

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The New Year's Eve party was in town and by the time we all got there the music and dancing was thumping! It was all old music played on a pipe or something... maybe a fiddle... again I'm a special snowflake not a musician!

Billy stood drinking beer or whiskey and was smiling real big because he was so happy. His teeth pinged with a sparkle of white and nearly dazzled me, he was more dazzling than any vampire with sparkly skin! Billy's diamond pool eyes and smooth skin was way hotter!

I felt I was gonna throw up I was so nervous! But I knew I was strong emotionally and could do this! I walked over to where Billy stood.

"Hey Billy!" I said smiling and batting my huge, long, dark eyelashes at him and pouting my ruby red lips.

"Oh hey Sparkle." Billy said drinking more beer/whisky. "What's up?"

I took in a deep breath. "I have something to... show you." I said glowing red hot with embarrassment.

"Oh, ok." Billy smiled big again and his diamond eyes burned into my green eyes.

"Follow me!" I said in a high sweet voice and grabbed his hand. I dragged him to a hidden spot in the town and turned to him.

Billy glanced around nervously. "What's going on Sparkle?" His eyes stared at me again. "This... isn't gonna be like the Crying Game right... it's not gonna turn into a slash story is it?" He flinched and glanced about obviously expecting to be ambushed by Chavez, Doc or Dick in the darkness. "You have no idea how that freaks me out! Especially when it's with Dick I mean don't people know in real life he's my bro..."

"Shush." I squeaked, smushing his lips together with my fingers. "You're talking too much and this is MY scene!"

"Oh, sorry... carry on." Billy said quackily, his lips looking like a ducks cause I had them squished. I let go and he gave another nervous glance about him.

My amber eyes burned into his sparkly blue pools and we connected once again on a really deep level.

"I wanted to show you this!" I said over dramatically and threw my jacket and hat off in one awesome movement. My hair gave out a tinkling sound as it swept through the air and settled into perfectly formed chestnut waves on my shoulders and down my back. My jacket revealed my thin, perky bosomed figure to his lusty eyes.

"OH MY GOD!" Billy squealed, running on the spot in excitement! "You're a chick!" He rubbed his hands over his face then held them out to the sky. "Oh thank God for that I thought it was going to turn all Brokeback on me."

"I see I surprised you." I said desirefully.

"Yes! Though now I think back on it... I really should have guessed!"

"You knew there was something different about me right?" I said giving him a big smile and batting my eyes at him.

"Yeah, I guess... but it was kinda obvious." He looked around before seeming to finally understand this was an important scene of MY story! He turned back and grabbed my hands in his. "Oh Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparky Sparkly Sparkle, my one true love!"

"That's better!" I mumbled under my breath. "Yes, Billy it is I! the woman you have always longed for! A woman that can ride with you, become an outlaw and shoot guns with you! We can have competitions and I'll beat you, because I am better of course..."

Billy's pooling diamond, crystal eyes dimmed for a moment. "Now, hang on." He said a little too tartly for my liking. "Darling..." He added with a sweet grin noticing my displeased look. "You can't be better than me, I am Billy the Kid, I am a legend of the west, you can't be better than me, though I really, weally wish it could be so my little pumpkin snooky bear." He cooed softly.

"Oh well I suppose you're right, we'll have to be equal, I will be the female gunslinger as good as you." I sighed.

"Yes, you and I will race across the plains as one!" He said grabbing my hands once again. "Together we'll be the most awesome outlaws in the entire world!"

"Yes, yes!" I said breathlessly. "Expect when I'm better," I whispered before planting my plump, sexy lips on his cheek.

We held hands as we floated back to the party. Well not actually floated but we were so in love it felt like it you know? The whole world suddenly seemed to be coated in Vaseline mistiness. The other regulators stared as I came onto the dance floor... well dance dust? They all had their mouths open at this beautiful woman that was me, never had they been so in love! I could instantly feel them drooling over me and wondering just who this mysterious woman was that now danced close to Billy.

Billy pulled me close, smushing our bodies together as we swayed to the fluty music.

"Oh Sparkle!" He gushed. "This is the happiest day of my life!"

"I know Billy." I said giving him a sexy smile. "But we must keep it a secret from everyone else, I must continue to live as a man for now, until I decide it's boring."

"Yes, yes my love!" He said.

As the music played we totally kissed. His lips we super soft and hot and moist! It was the best kiss ever, in the entire world and I felt it all the way to my toes! Wow, this was going to be exciting I thought. The tale of Billy the Kid and Sparkle... EPIC!

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_A/N So your thoughts? Where would you like it to go? Any scenes you'd__ like to see?_


	5. Chapter 5

_Happy Holidays to all._

_Enjoy the update ;)_

We all left the New Year's party in happy spirits. I had changed back into my man's outfit to conceal my secret identity! As we rode back home on our horses Billy couldn't keep his diamond eyes off me and he smiled real big at me, I got all butterflies swooping in my stomach! OMG we were really in love!

So we were riding back and then one of the other boys saw a big fat turkey up ahead!

"OMG!" Chavez said excited. "I love a roast dinner nommy!" He set off after the bird and all the other boys went with him.

"Billy wait!" I called as Billy was about to shoot off and go kill some bird (humanely of course, he's so caring like that! One bullet to the head, then the turkey don't have no head to feel pain, isn't he sweet! He really loves animals just like me!) "We should stay with John I have a funny feeling in my toes."

"It's ok Sparkle, John says we can go."

"You did?" I asked turning to John.

"Yes, I said it but you weren't listening."

"Oh ok." I crunched my eyebrows together. "No, you go Billy I don't feel like I should leave John." My Spider sense was totally tingling! I knew something bad was going to happen, if only Billy would listen to me, he knows I'm always right!

Billy rode away to kill turkeys (humanely!) and I stayed with John. I glanced at the old man, I didn't really have much to say to him, our age gaps were so large yet still I felt a bond to him, something strong and unknown... as of yet!

"John, you've been like a Father to me since I came here!" I laughed. "I want to thank you, I'll make you a great meal when we get home."

"Oh Sparkle, you are like a daughter to me too!"

My jaw literally hit the floor. "Whaaaaa? What you talking about Tunstall?"

"Oh I knew you were a girl the moment I saw you, it was something about your face, I know who you are Sparkle Pretty, I know you are a woman!" He looked at me all totally meaningful. "You see there is something I must tell you Sparkle, something I have wanted to tell you for so long!"

"What?" I felt majorly wigged out, this was far too like my scene with Billy in the last chapter. "You aren't going to reveal you're really a woman with tinkling hair right?"

"No, no nothing like that. Sparkle." He said seriously and totally stern. "Your parents never told you what happened to your real Father did they?"

I looked shocked and crazy. "What, no... yes, you killed my father!"

"No" John said shoutingly. "I am your Father!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooo, it's not TRUE!" I screamed. "Oh no, wait sorry wrong fandom. So you are my Father?"

"Yes." John said fatherly. "I had to abandon you as a baby because you were so beautiful everyone was trying to steal you and say you were their baby! Plus I knew you would grow up to have OMFG shooting skills and Murphy that evil son of a snakey wanted you for himself, I had to protect you! Please forgive me Sparkle, my wonderful, beautiful, talented daughter."

"Oh father." I shooted rushing into his arms. "I love you, I knew I was missing something from my life and now it is complete, I'm SO happy!"

We totally cried and held each other for ages. "Now, we must reveal your true nature to the other boys and you must marry Billy! It would be my lifelong dream to walk you down the aisle!"

"Oh father, I am so happy, I would love that, my dream too would be fulfilled!" I smiled and felt super duper happy. "Now we can live peacefully forever and ever!"

"Yes! Come let us tell the boys this great news!"

We made to start riding but suddenly we were ambushed! DUM DUM DUNNNNNNNNNNN!

The Murphy boys were all around us surrounding us, there was no escape.

"Oh no father, what do we do?" I asked sacredly.

"Do not fear Sparkle, I will protect you my daughter."

But it was too late the Murphy boys had drawn their guns and I was so shocked I couldn't use my super awesomely fast gun skills. They shot John and he was totally dying.

"FATHERRRRRRRRRR!" I screamed in angry pain. "I will kill them!" I started shooting madly and crazily, I took loads of them out easily and they fell down dead like the dog pigs they were! The rest of the Murphy boys had gotten scared and run away, waving their arms in the air and screaming.

"Father! Father!" I cried getting off my horse and going to where my father lay. "Oh Father, what shall I do, where shall I go?"

"Oh Sparkle." John was gargling blood. "Do not fear, for tomorrow is another day!"

"Yes, that is a great quote, but we only just met Father, I only just found you, oh the sorrow, the anger, the agony!"

"My beautiful daughter, do no cry, I love you and leave you all my money and belongings."

"What about the boys?"

"Sod the boys Sparkle, you are the only thing that matters to me now... suddenly!"

"Oh Father!" I wailed. "How will I live without you!"

"You must LIVE, live for me and your dear mother, live for Billy and remember me with you as you get married, I will be with you in spirit, like Kenobi was for Luke, my dear daughter. Use your anger as vengeance and kill all of Murphy for me!"

"Oh Father, I will, I will I promise."

"Ugh!" John said and died.

I cried and cried and cried but suddenly Billy was back with me. He'd seen what had happened and was really angry that they had killed my father! He held me close and was very romantic and heroic in my hour of need!

"Sparkle, we have to go the Murphy boys are coming back!"

"Yes!" I said my tears were gone and now I felt nothing but anger and vengeance for my father! I was Sparkle Pretty KickAss Gunslinger Girl Tunstall and now I understood my name fully! Vengeance would be mineee!

We both jumped on our horses and rode for safety!


End file.
